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Welcome!
Teaching young children to respect others' feelings, to learn
how to share, to know and keep the 'rules of the house' is a complicated and
important topic for parents. No one
wants to raise a spoiled child!
We often forget that babies come into the world with no self-control.Babies
want (and need) what they want when they want it. Slowly
they learn to wait a minute or longer.A
young toddlers' view of the world is ego-centric. Buoyed
by a growing competency to navigate their world, they feel they are Masters of
and the Center of the Universe!Over time
(and slowly) they learn that others have feelings and expectations about how
they act, when and where. Learning
to control their aggressive energies when they can't do or have what they want
is part of every child's learning process.In
time, most children learn to manage the 'big feelings' inside that often occur
when parents or nannies say 'no'.
Here are some useful articles on this important topic for you, your nanny and
child.
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An
Overview of Effective Discipline
Raising a child who learns to respect others, themselves and
the world around them takes every ounce of wisdom and strength a parent can
muster. In the heat of the moment
when sweet Johnny is pulling his best buddies' hair out it is hard to see the
big picture; it is hard to know how your reaction in that moment fits in with
your overall goals for your child's development. An
article from the University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension helps
give a broad view to discipline and provides some practical tips that may help
in the heat of the moment as well. Go to
www.ceinfo.unh.edu/Family. |
Self-Control
and How it Develops
Infants have no self-control. When they are
hungry, they expect to be fed immediately and rightly so. When
an older baby wants a toy, she grabs it regardless of whether another child is
playing with it or not. Slowly,
over time, we learn that other people have feelings and expectations that are
different from our own. We also
learn that our actions have consequences, sometimes negative and sometimes
positive. As these concepts
develop, children learn to regulate their behavior. A
toddler learns not to jump off the stairs as the landing is painful. A
three year old learns not to take toys from another child as the offended
child's reaction is undesirable. While
the general process by which self-control develops is natural, parents play a
huge role in providing an environment conducive to its development. Zero
to Three has two very useful articles dealing with the developmental stages of
taming aggressive tendencies and what to do when a child is out of
control. Both articles can be found
at www.zerotothree.org/ztt_parents.html.
Click on "Parenting A to Z" at the top
left.The articles can be found under the
headings of Aggression and Self-Control. |
How
to Discipline When Parent/Caregiver Styles Differ
Parents and nannies inevitably learn they don't always see
eye-to-eye about all things.Disciplining
children is no exception.Differences in
childhood experiences and cultural expectations all play an important role in
our assumptions about children, relationships and family life.Taking
the time to learn where these differences are and finding a common ground can
be an enriching experience for everyone.The
following article from the book, Becoming the Parent You Want to
Be by
Laura Davis and Janis Keyser provides some useful ideas about
recognizing differences and finding common ground.
When
Partners Disagree
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Public
Ploicy Spotlight: Universal Preschool
In June, Proposition 82, the Preschool for All Act will be on
the ballot for our vote.Debate has
already started on this significant proposition.The
basic thrust of the proposition is to make publicly funded, free preschool
available to every 4 year old in the state.The
funding for this program would come from an income tax increase of 1.7% for
families with income over $800,000 or individuals with income over $400,000.
As Californians debate the costs and benefits of Preschool for All, it would be
useful to look to states with existing universal preschool programs.A
recent study published in Developmental
Psychology suggests that significant academic gains can be made with a
well funded preschool program.The study
focused on Oklahoma's universally available pre-kindergarten.Gains
were made in reading readiness, letter/word recognition, spelling, and math
skills.Although the most significant
gains were made by Hispanic students, children from every racial background and
economic group made gains when compared to non-participating students of
similar backgrounds. The study also compares the Oklahoma program with those of
other states.
For the full article of the study go to
www.apa.org
For an overview of Proposition 82 from the San Jose Mercury News go to
www.mercurynews.com
For arguments in favor of Proposition 82 go to
www.yeson82.com/about.php
For an Op-Ed in opposition to the proposition go to
www.sfgate.com
For the full text of Proposition 82 go to
www.caag.state.ca.us
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